I’ve been away from this blog for awhile, I had many post ideas, but when it came to type them out, I couldn’t. The words seem to leave as I sat down to write. And so I just left it blank, left the blog in a silent state, while trying to live another day. Except today.
Today is the 3rd anniversary of that dark day. I couldn’t let this day pass without saying something.
What can I say? Everything, or maybe nothing, depends on what you, the reader take away.
I started this blog, an attempt to clear the fog in my mind, and to express the inexpressible..but it was tough to find words to describe what I was feeling. I was hoping this would be a benefit to me and maybe to others who found their way here. Instead I have shrank, too timid, and too emotional to share. I never realized how difficult it would be to endure this and then try to distill it for others to read. It is not all bad, and I don’t wish to dwell upon the past. Life continues on and so must I, unfortunately.
No matter how dark I feel, I take great peace from my faith, and my God is a good God. I have seen his hand in so much of the last three years. But I have also fallen back into toxic patterns. The more I read about grief experiences, the more I identify with the only way out is through- so I persist. I also quite like the idea that “grief is just love with nowhere to go”. I agree with that as well.
However, today is the 3rd anniversary of losing someone so important, that I am reeling from the effects to this day. I love you dear and I still miss you..I always will until this earth falls away and I am again reunited with you.
Hopefully soon.
I leave you with a song that just seems to capture a lot of my feelings.